Sucker Punched

That's the feeling you're likely to have after seeing Zack Snyder's latest CG-fest Sucker Punch (alternate opening lines include: a sucker punch is defined as a sudden, surprise punch, usually from behind, an apt title for this train wreck. When it came time to name his latest film, director Zack Snyder went with the feeling the test audience had after seeing this flaming pile of garbage).

The film is setup in three layers (if you've already read plot summaries, you can skip this next paragraph): The real world, the fantasy world, and a series of fantasy worlds set within the fantasy world. If you're confused, don't be, for a film that seems to be intentionally complex and confusing, it is surprisingly straightforward.

The real world is set in the 1960's (I guess, because I don't remember hearing an actual date anywhere in the film. Maybe it was on the form being filled out during the beginning of the film that provides a lot of the details about the main character (She's female AND twenty years old)) where the unnamed protagonist (nicknamed Baby Doll in the fantasy world) has just lost her mother. In a really quick setup, we learn that this guy who we later learn is her step dad (the opening sequence doesn't say this, it's only after he takes the older girl to the mental institution does the audience learn their relationship) learns that he inherits nothing from the mother's death, so he decides to rape his step daughters.

That makes sense, right? That's the only reasonable course of action when bad news is received. During an ensuing scuffle, the main character shoots at the step dad and accidentally kills her sister. I guess. A lightbulb shatters and a pipe bursts, but it was unclear whether the gunshot killed her or if the step dad already had (saying otherwise is using an unreasonable leap in logic given the facts presented in the movie). It could be argued that the step dad had already killed the sister before and it was convenient to pin it on the main character since she was being stuck in an institution anyway.

When the main character arrives at the institution, she is introduced to a skeevy orderly (who runs the place) and overhears the head doctor (only doctor?) telling the girls that the mind is the thing in which we escape to and it is perfect and great in our mind. We also learn here that the main character has five days before another doctor arrives to lobotomize her. Flash forward to her about to be lobotomized and then we're introduced to...

The fantasy world! Set entirely in the main character's mind, she is now an orphan prostitute, the orderly is now a night club/brothel owner and the other mental patients are performers/well...prostitutes. Not a whole lot more character development here, it's really just one more layer of a setup for...

The fantasy world inside the fantasy world! In order to survive at the night club/brothel of the fantasy world, Baby Doll (it's here where they name the protagonist) must dance. In order to dance, she must give herself to the music (awkward scenes in themselves). But when she does, she transports her mind (which she has already transported to this fantasy land. But seriously? In her perfect world, she's an orphaned hooker?) to a fantasy world where she is even more empowered and can fight poorly CGI'd stuff. An old man tells her she must collect things, and then the missions ensue.

Everyone loves to watch her dance, though the audience never really sees why. Kelly said all she's doing is awkward pelvic thrusts.

Back in the fantasy world #1, she decides she's going to escape before the "high roller" comes, so she pieces together an awkward plan (the dialogue is just awful. Maybe some of the worst of any movie. Ever) where everytime she dances (and subsequently there is a new "mission"), one of the other girls would steal an item needed for the escape. None of the plans go off without a hitch and soon almost everyone is dead.

Now, in the real world, it's discovered what the skeevy orderly was doing and all of the damage Baby Doll did while in her fantasy land (she starts fires, stabs some people, and I have to believe those girls did die). Seriously, the lobotomy doctor said he had been coming to the instution for awhile and nobody ever questioned who was actually signing off on the lobotomies? Really?

And, I know he was going for sweet with the ending, but having Sweet Pea escape is weird because, well, she's a mental patient. Baby Doll helped a potentially insane girl escape. If, at some point, it was given that SP was in the same boat as BD (we can kind of assume maybe she is, since in the fantasy world, she followed her sister Rocket to the brothel), but nothing is ever said. So yeah, potentially dangerous mental patient is on the loose.

The dialogue was terrible. It's like they took the most wordy and vague path to saying just about everything possible in ways that are annoying to the mind. Like that. But worse. The acting was about what could be expected, given the script. The whole concept of the film was built around girls in skimpy outfits fighting things, so Snyder tried to build a film around that. It didn't work. The missions themselves are full of action, but the girls (at least to me) aren't particularly attractive (Abby Cornish aside) and the CG that Snyder loves oh so much isn't well done. There were times where the actresses didn't line up right with the CG characters or backgrounds. It's something I noticed with Avatar, but wrote that off because it was in 3D. It's just awkward.

And that's the one word I have to describe this film: awkward.

The only redeeming quality was one of the characters' costumes in the mission world. Sweet Pea's hooded dress thing was pretty cool looking.

The people who liked the film defend their position by saying things like: you just don't get it, you knew what you were getting into based on the trailers, and it's just supposed to be a big, dumb entertaining action-film.

Well, no. I totally got it. It's supposed to about the empowerment of the mind and the harsh treatment of woman. The trailers really didn't hint at the whole fantasy within a fantasy aspect. And it clearly isn't supposed to be a big, dumb action movie because it's evident Zack Snyder really, really wanted us to feel for his characters and to make us think (it did, but only if I could way with self-inducing vomiting so I could leave early). The only time I felt anything was during the Lord of the Rings-esque mission, and that was because I felt bad for Baby and Mommy Dragon.

I would say that I have little hope for Snyder's Superman: The Man of Steel, but he seems to work well when he's using other people's works (Snyder co-wrote Sucker Punch). I think it's better if Snyder sticks to translating other people's works and leaves the writing to someone else.

Still Here

I haven't been around much. If you follow US news, then you've probably seen the upheavel in Wisconsin. While it's small potatoes in comparison to what's happening elsewhere in the world, it is very personal to me.

That said, what's new? Glad you asked. I'm readying the new edition to Project Zero: BulletProof (yay, I'm talking about that again!) which will include a sneak peak at Project Zero: Godsend (or God Sent, jury's still out on that one). I'm finishing up working in some story threads that probably should've been in the story in the first place (Eva and Ryan disappear in the third act and Rain and Keri never do thrown over Lance). So look for that in the coming week(s).

After that, I'm going to start editing on A Plague Upon Thee (If I never mentioned it by title, that is the name of the Zombie Shakespeare book I wrote) and the second PZ book. I'm hoping to get both of those out this year. I'm still plugging away on the third PZ book (title to be determined) and am still brainstorming what the next book is going to be (I'm probably going to take some time off after PZ3).

I continue my journey into the world of Unova. If you follow me on Twitter, then you know Kelly has the Black version while I have the White. The feminine Legendary is on the cover of black, the masculine is on the cover of White. Yep, that's what fueled our (her) decision on who got what version this time around.

I picked up Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions for half off from an electronics store that's closing. I've only played it for about an hour, but I have to say, it feels like the same ol' Spidey game to me. The fighting style is a mix between Arkham Asylum and Web of Shadows. But with awkard camera control. And voice acting. Some, like Neil Patrick Harris, give mixed performances. Some of his witty remarks are spot on Spidey, but some are awkwardly delivered. But that's just my take on it.

The full Captain America trailer hit the web yesterday. That's exciting, I guess.

Read an eBook Week Marches On!

I truly believe that RAEW is in March just so I can make stupid puns like that. It...Marches on? Get it? March, marches...eh, my humor is wasted on the youth. Lousy kids and their rock music and their hoochy goochy dancing.

Oh...k...I'm going to stop myself there before I sound completely like a crotchety old person. Like the one that just walked by my window. Anyone else ever feel like screaming "Zombie!" when you see an old person shambling down the road?

But what I really want to talk about is, as the title implies, Read an eBook Week. My goal for the past two years is to get 50 new readers during this week. I need nine more between now and tomorrow night to reach that goal. So for anybody who has read it (or downloaded it and never got around to reading it), tell your friends. I'm going to put it on its own line so everyone sees it.

IF YOU HAVE DOWNLOADED PROJECT ZERO, PASS IT ON! TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

Now I feel like one of those saps on the street corner passing out fliers (flyers?) for coupons/events. Remember to use COUPON REFREE to get it for free. Or not. Then I get some money out of it.

I've been toying with different styles of writing lately, and one has kinda stuck with me: 1st person perspective. It seems to be all the rage with YA literature, and a lot of my short stories tend to be 1st Person. So I started rewriting the opening chapters of Project Zero. I like it. I don't know if it works for the whole book. In that respect, though, I also have a few ideas for the series. Don't know if they'll pan out, so I won't reveal what they are yet. No need to cause an uproar over nothing.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those affected by the 8.9 Earthquake that tore up Japan today and sent Tsunamis into the coasts of the US, among other countries. It really makes you feel like kind of a D-bag to be worrying about the small stuff when the world is falling apart (literally).

Read an eBook Week, Marvel v Capcom 3 and Pokemon White

I don't have a clever title for today's entry. I'm not even sure what I'm typing will turn out to be actual words.

March 6th (yesterday, if you read this entry today) marked the beginning of this year's International Read an eBook Week. I'm pretty sure the "international" thing is new, but I can't prove that. Either way, I am once again giving away Project Zero: BulletProof for free.

If you go HERE and use the Coupon REFREE you will get my book and tons of others absolutely free!

Not only that, but if you get it while it's free (by going HERE), you will get access to all future editions of Project Zero: BulletProof for free. You get the updated editions if you bought a copy previously, too, so those who paid for it, don't feel left out.

I wanted to get the new edition out in time for IRaEW, but once I realized I would've need a lead time in the terms of months, it wasn't going to happen. So a new edition should be out next week or the week after that. Fingers crossed that I have the time to work on it.

Over the weekend, I picked up my copy of Pokemon White I had preordered from GameStop (I swore I wouldn't go back there, but I had gift cards to use up). When I placed the preorder (I did it instore because I had been in the area. For realz), they mentioned they were having a Marvel vs Capcom 3 Launch Event Tournament Thing. Being terrible at fighting games, I passed.

Now, as an aside, I may have mentioned in the past that Marvel vs Capcom 2 is not just one of my favorite fighting games, but one of my favorite games ever. After being burned by Street Fight IV (I foolishly expected it to play similarly to the later SF games and not one that came out 20 years ago), I swore I wasn't going to buy MVC3 until I played it.

Well, 'lo and behold, the PS3 at GS was still setup for MVC3 (I know, I used a lot of initials and such in that sentence). It's like they knew I was coming. The second I picked up the controller, however, I hear, "MR. LYYYYNCH!!!!" I can't go anywhere without running into a student (it should be noted that this GameStop is not in my town and there are no less than 4 GameStops in a one block radius there). The student was also there getting Pokemon.

After trying out MVC3, I went to the counter for my copy of White (Kelly made me get White, since that has the masculine looking Legend on the cover and Black has the feminine) and casually asked if they had any copies of the Special Edition. They said 'no,' they only ordered enough to cover the preorders. Then they discovered someone had cancelled an order, so I went ahead and bought it.

2-3 hours later and I put down the controller. All of the characters were unlocked (but not all the extras like sounds...or sounds...) and I mulled over the game.

First off, it looks great. I'm still partial to MVC2's sprites, but the 3D-esque Cel-shaded character models are pretty to look at...for the most part. My only real complaint is that some characters have giant, open mouths with their teeth bared (Hulk and Wolverine come to mind). You don't notice it while playing, but while doing idle things like character selection, waiting for the fight to start, or taunting, it's, well, distracting.

I still swear that the 3D models restrict the speed and movement of the fighters. And that leads me to my next point: this isn't MVC2. Nor is it SFIV. It almost feels like a mix of the two. Faster than SFIV, but not nearly the frenetic pace of MVC2. The controls seem to be a mix of the two as well.

One of the things that bugged me about SFIV was how much of a step backwards it felt like for the series. The hyper-charged turbo pacing of the the Alpha and Versus series isn't for everyone, but to not even allow Ryu to do a Hadoken while in the air? What are we? Savages? Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 feels like a step in the right direction, but it isn't quite there. Also an annoyance, and this is small...ish, is that there is no longer STRONG and WEAK punches and kicks, but strong, medium, and weak hits. It might be just me, but it also felt like I would try to repeat a maneuver only to have the buttons do something different.


Now for Pokemon. I haven't spent a lot of time with it, but I have to say: WOW! I've seen a lot of reviews that claim it's more of the same. In a way that's true. You still get a choice of the three elemental starters (Fire, Water, Grass) and you set out on your Pokemon journey.

However, (SPOILER ALERT) the first thing I noticed about this game was how well it set up the mood. Moreso than any other entry in the series. I like the seasonal thing, the music and colors were perfect (I don't know about anyone else, but my game started in Autumn). The whole atmosphere is...whimsical. At first. Once you get to the first town, the story's protagonist show up.

Team Plasma, Pokemon's version of PETA, show up early. They argue that Pokemon are better off free and that people should stop subjecting the creatures to their will. That is surprisingly deep for a Pokemon game. And it isn't just Plasma that gives you that feeling that Pokemon should be free. No, everywhere you go, there are hints that the pokemon may not be happy being the trainer's playthings.

For example, one of the TV segments is a review of PokeItems hosted by a woman, cohosted by what I can only assume is a Pokemon. The Pokemon replies with its usual only can say its name thing, but it's translated for the viewer. We learn the Pokemon is pretty upset by the host's actions and words. I'm not very far into the game, but methinks something is rotten in the state of Unova.

VERDICT -
Marvel VS Capcom 3 - If you loved MVC2, you'll like this one. If you liked playing through the story in 2 to get all the characters, you'll be disappointed, there's only 4 hidden, and it only takes one playthrough to unlock them. Reports are coming in that Online isn't optimized yet. Still, a great game to play with a couple of friends (or relatives) to waste a few hours.

Pokemon White - If you liked the others, get it. It's great for veterans and newcomers alike. What seemed like what was going to be the same thing (not that that is a bad thing) turned out to be something more. The subtlies set this apart from earlier entries with things like different camera angles, wind blowing through the grass, birds that fly away, etc.