Smallville premiered when I was a Sophomore in high school. I remember being excited to see a teen Clark Kent in a weekly series (outside of the old Superboy show, which I'm not old enough to remember, anyway). The first episode came and went and I was hooked. Each week, Clark did battle with a new villain (in the "creature/villain of the week" format) while balancing his personal life (the on-again off-again relationships with both Lana and Lex. Lex was a bromance, not a romance) with his newfound abilities.
I remember thinking how cool some of the special effects were, even if they were cheesy. In a time when most shows and movies were following the Matrix's bullettime example of making everything really slow to show how fast the character was moving (I still don't get it. I mean, he's going really, REALLY slow. Still better than the really fast Agent Smith, I suppose), Smallville took it in a different direction. Clark moved at regular speed (with blurs abound) and the environment around him would either freeze or be in slow motion. Now that's fast. The other effect I always cheered on was when someone would hit Clark with something, anything, and it would shatter on the Man of Steel. Didn't matter what it was, golf club, baseball bat, arrow, bullet, pretty sure there was a car engine in there somewhere, it always shattered the same, awesome way.
The show did suffer from a lack of direction at times and the fact that the CW/WB gave that show a budget of $1.25 didn't hlep. The show picked up after Millar and Gough left after the 7th season and the new showrunners truly embraced the source material. While I credit Millar and Gough for selling the WB on Smallville, the show had started getting long in the tooth (how many seasons of Lana and Clark pining for each other did we need. And the whole fake marriage thing with Lex? That was just creepy. Plus, Gough and Millar were partly responsible for Spider-Man 2, which had some incredibly awkward Clark/Lana-esque moments in it) and I feel the fresh blood really breathed new life into a tired series.
Smallville started out slow and small when it came to branching out into the greater DCU (of characters, it does not, despite what some people think, have any bearing on actual DC comic continuity. Some of the first characters to be featured on Smallville were a certain trickster from the 5th Dimension (though in the show he was a foreign exchange student) and Bart Allen (to this day I cannot figure out why they went with Bart instead of Barry or Wally). Mxyzptlk is a prime example of how the show attempted to stay grounded with its reinvisioning of Superman's early years. Instead of being an impish old demigod from a dimension far different than our own, he was a shifty exchange student with a penchant for fixing high school football games.
Cameos, guest spots, and recurring heroes was also something that improved when the new showrunners took over in season eight. Sure, Gough and Millar managed to work in a couple (like Green Arrow and Black Canary (she showed up in season seven)), but it was an all out nerdfest from eight onward. Everything shifted closer to how it is in the comics while clearly still based in the Smallville universe. The last couple of seasons brought fans Zatanna and the Justice Society. Even Clark matured into the man who would be Super...man.
Everything pointed to a grand finale for such a mainstay on the WB and then CW's schedule (and many viewers' as well), so what happened? Well, Smallville happened. It was always a show of uneven quality. While I enjoyed watching it week to week, there are episodes that stand above the rest, and then there are whole chunks of seasons that I barely watched or remember (I'm looking at you, Veritas journals, et al.)
The finale encompassed everything that the show is and was in two hours. Like just about every season finale before it, Finale (yes, that's the name of the episode) plodded along for the first half until Oliver was revealed as traitor (oops, SPOILERS) and he and Clark had a thirty second fight.
Then it slowed back down again. And Clark had a couple of meaningful conversations with his dad (say what?!), and then his mom, and then Lois (who snuck aboard Air Force One in the second half), all the while Apokalips was bearing down on Earth. We get it. A lot of people helped Clark become the man he is and needs to be. And it's great to have all these heartfelt conversations with those people. But there is a fiery ball of doom heading right for the planet. Didn't it occur to Clark to, I don't know, hurry his ass up? Every time someone talked Clark into taking that next step and he'd rush off, he'd only end up talking to someone else for five minutes.
And who wasn't psyched as heck for Lex's return? Okay, that setup may sound like I'm going to tear into Michael Rosenbaum, but I'm not. Having him around for those couple of minutes really punctuated just how great Lex and Clark's dynamic really was. It was a shame they had to go and erase a decade's worth of character growth like that. Of course, I half-expected him to help dear ol' Tess along a bit quicker after her quip that Clark had saved her first. And without stabbing her.
Meanwhile, daddy Lionel (the evil one from the mirror universe) had taken on the spirit of Darkseid (in exchange for ripping out Lionel's heart to give to Lex) and has gone to confront the Light (Clark) in the Light's (Clark's) barn. What. A. Weak. Fight?
"I hit you!"
"EHH!"
*Five minutes of flashbacks that encompass the WHOLE series!*
"Now I can fly. And I can fly through you!"
"Oh no! Now I'm going to explode into old man dust and birds!"
"Birds?"
"Yes...birds."
"Whatever."
And then he goes to see Jor-El and gets the Superman costume so he can finally deal with the giant flaming ball of death that should have probably already ended all life on Earth. And what the hell is wrong with those people on Air Force One?
"We know firing nukes at this thing won't do a damn thing to it and will kill millions of people. But gosh dangit, let's fire them nukes anyway! Trust us, it's better this way."
That is some pretty poor reasoning.
Finally, Clark gets the suit. And then we never see him with it on. Sure, we get some pretty poor CG of Supes from a distance and then that shot of Clark ripping open his shirt to reveal the 'S' at the end (but his face wasn't even in the shot at that point), but never say, the classic Superman pose, all majestic and heroic.
If Clark could've just pushed Apokalips away, why didn't he do that in the first place. Why did he have to run around town visiting everyone and their mother before finally getting the suit and just nudging the planet away. Oh, it was because he didn't believe in himself? That he hadn't yet truly embraced his destiny? I'm sorry, but that s*** didn't fly in Spider-Man 2 and it certainly doesn't here.
After ten years of the same thing, I shouldn't have been surprised, but I still feel cheated. What? Did Welling just not fit into the Superman Returns costume? Couldn't pay for alterations? Tommy boy didn't want to work out enough to look good in the suit? What was it CW? WHAT? WAS? IT?
In a way, flaws and all, Finale was the perfect finale for the show I spent ten years following. It represents the heights and depths the series was capable of, and, even though I spent most of this post ripping the finale apart, I will miss the show.
Also, CW and Warner Bros., please consider making at least TV movies in the Smallville universe and get Tom Welling to get in shape.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
The PSN Malfunction
It's now Monday, May 2nd. The PlayStation Network has been down since April 20th. Over the past twelve days and some odd hours (it was taken offline some time that Wednesday evening), some details have surfaced over what happened. It was determined that there was an external attack (hackers hacking) on Sony's online networking platforms (the PlayStation Network, their Qriocity music store, and recently, the Sony Online Entertainment...thing. Are they still calling it portal or hub?) There were some *ahem* liberties taken with the sparse information Sony has given the public and many conclusions were jumped to. This one I saw repeatedly: "Sony should burn because it in no way protected customer information at all and I'm going to sue them."
At the time, there was no evidence that the good folks at PlayStation hadn't protected customer's private information. From what Sony has said (and big companies never, ever mislead the public. Ever.), credit card data was/is encrypted and it does not appear that it was pulled in the "external attack." Then there came the reports that Sony's list of "77 million user's" credit card data was being sold off in chunks. Well, the problem with that statement (and the reason it's in quotes) is that only about 10 million users had active credit cards attached to their profiles. Also, on average, well over 25,000 people in the US alone are victims of identy theft daily. So the couple of people (and not saying it isn't related, but it could be a freaky coincidence) that have come forward with fraudulent charges being made around the time of the "external attack" very well could've had their credit card info nabbed in some other way.
And let's be real, if not for the credit card thing, what's on someone's profile that isn't, say, on Facebook or on one of a dozen data aggregate sites (once I found out that my cell number and home address was on these sites, I had it removed. It's a bit time consuming, but relatively easy.)?
Someone rudely accused me of defending big business, and that really isn't me. Rather than pointing fingers at Sony when there wasn't a whole lot of info to go on (there still isn't and we may never know just how beefy or not Sony's security was), I think that the gaming community would've been better served uniting in common desire to see justice served against the person(s) who hacked the system and caused such a lengthy blackout.
The only thing I really need the PSN for right now is to sync my trophies to my user profile so I can switch out hard drives (I purchased a much larger HDD without realizing that 1) the system was down and 2) that it required a connection at all), so the PSN being down isn't a big loss for me.
And I still blame this mess on that shmuck who thought it would be a good idea to release the PS3's root key online and didn't expect any retaliation in return. Yeah, you hacked the unhackable system, opened the floodgate for others to do with the system what they will, and you didn't expect anything bad to happen? Either to you (Sony has been accused of drawing the legal battle out in order to ramp up legal fees) or to your fellow gamers (who were the real victims in all this)? Good job there, guy. (And do you really think for one second this was just about Sony removing the ability to install another OS?)
And to those who say that Sony either should have had better security (still don't know how good it was) or that they deserve this, let me say this: If I were to break into your house, steal your wallet and computer, kick you in dangly bits, and run away, shouldn't I be the one getting the blame? This hypothetical you wouldn't say, "well, I guess the locks weren't good enough. I deserved to have all my stuff stolen and my dangly bits kicked in." No. That wouldn't happen.
To sum it up: I'm not pro-Sony (or big corporations), I'm pro-going after the person who perpetrated the attacks.
At the time, there was no evidence that the good folks at PlayStation hadn't protected customer's private information. From what Sony has said (and big companies never, ever mislead the public. Ever.), credit card data was/is encrypted and it does not appear that it was pulled in the "external attack." Then there came the reports that Sony's list of "77 million user's" credit card data was being sold off in chunks. Well, the problem with that statement (and the reason it's in quotes) is that only about 10 million users had active credit cards attached to their profiles. Also, on average, well over 25,000 people in the US alone are victims of identy theft daily. So the couple of people (and not saying it isn't related, but it could be a freaky coincidence) that have come forward with fraudulent charges being made around the time of the "external attack" very well could've had their credit card info nabbed in some other way.
And let's be real, if not for the credit card thing, what's on someone's profile that isn't, say, on Facebook or on one of a dozen data aggregate sites (once I found out that my cell number and home address was on these sites, I had it removed. It's a bit time consuming, but relatively easy.)?
Someone rudely accused me of defending big business, and that really isn't me. Rather than pointing fingers at Sony when there wasn't a whole lot of info to go on (there still isn't and we may never know just how beefy or not Sony's security was), I think that the gaming community would've been better served uniting in common desire to see justice served against the person(s) who hacked the system and caused such a lengthy blackout.
The only thing I really need the PSN for right now is to sync my trophies to my user profile so I can switch out hard drives (I purchased a much larger HDD without realizing that 1) the system was down and 2) that it required a connection at all), so the PSN being down isn't a big loss for me.
And I still blame this mess on that shmuck who thought it would be a good idea to release the PS3's root key online and didn't expect any retaliation in return. Yeah, you hacked the unhackable system, opened the floodgate for others to do with the system what they will, and you didn't expect anything bad to happen? Either to you (Sony has been accused of drawing the legal battle out in order to ramp up legal fees) or to your fellow gamers (who were the real victims in all this)? Good job there, guy. (And do you really think for one second this was just about Sony removing the ability to install another OS?)
And to those who say that Sony either should have had better security (still don't know how good it was) or that they deserve this, let me say this: If I were to break into your house, steal your wallet and computer, kick you in dangly bits, and run away, shouldn't I be the one getting the blame? This hypothetical you wouldn't say, "well, I guess the locks weren't good enough. I deserved to have all my stuff stolen and my dangly bits kicked in." No. That wouldn't happen.
To sum it up: I'm not pro-Sony (or big corporations), I'm pro-going after the person who perpetrated the attacks.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Ugh
It's been awhile. I know I said I was going to be posting more here, but that hasn't worked out. Between work and the hours I put in just last night to clean my desktop of malware/virii, I've been busy.
With all of the cover letters I've had to write for applications lately, I've come to two conclusions. One, I hate cover letters. Two, I can't write a good cover letter. Which is weird to me. I mean, my degree and certification are in English. You'd think I'd be able to compose a half-way decent letter to sell myself as such. But no. Maybe it's the same thing with my writing. I psych myself out If I could just have someone with a recording device following me around all day, I'd be golden.
Though the date will say it's from some time in early April, I'm not actually finishing it until April 19th. So, to further what I said above, I applied to the district I'm a Guest Teacher in. Hopefully, that gets me somewhere. But, I know there are hundreds of applicants and only two positions open, so I'm not holding my breath (which is a weird phrase anyway, since it's allegedly physically impossible to die by holding your breath).
I spent the last three weeks of work proctoring a computerized standardized test. Very few mishaps this time, which is a plus.
I bought Dead Rising 2 this past week. I was waiting for it to go down more in price, but then I watched the videos here and here. I've watched through a couple more of the Two Best Friends... videos and, other than Vampire Rain, the videos are pretty good. I'm not saying they're wrong about the fact that VR is a shitty game. Far from it. I just think it would've been good if they had attempted the game the way it was meant to be played (purely stealth without confronting the Vampires) to show how utterly ridiculous the game truly is.
But Dead Rising 2 is a pretty damn good game. It's a game where the sheer joy of destroying countless zombies is the main attraction. Unlike Valve's Left 4 Dead, which is a game all about survival and ammo conservation (kind of, the hand gun's ammo is infinite, but where's the fun in that?), Dead Rising 2 doesn't take itself seriously. The cutscenes do, but the gameplay does not. Where else are you going to jam a Servbot (think giant Lego head) mask on a zombie, then flay him with a machette on a stick? No where, that's where.
And that brings up another draw of the game. The game's teaser was Tape it or Die! That refers to the game's combo system. As Chuck (the main character) levels up, he gains access to combo cards, which tell the player what components are needed to make increasingly hilarious and deadly weapons (which also give bonuses to PP (the game's XP)).
My only real complain is sometimes the game's story takes away from zombie smashing. You can either kill thousands of zombies (and I have) or you can save your daughter (um...spoiler, I guess), but if you do too much zombie killin' you'll miss a deadline and fail the cases (missions) and then the truth is lost or something. Either way, it sounds important, so I just went with it. Though, I wish I could save more people (also a good way to boost PP).
In other news, I still haven't uploaded the new edition of Project Zero. I know, I said it was going to be within two weeks after Read an eBook Week, but things happen and I didn't have time to make some changes I wanted. I was tempted to just say I uploaded a new edition because I gotta figure 90% of the people who downloaded it didn't read it anyway.
With all of the cover letters I've had to write for applications lately, I've come to two conclusions. One, I hate cover letters. Two, I can't write a good cover letter. Which is weird to me. I mean, my degree and certification are in English. You'd think I'd be able to compose a half-way decent letter to sell myself as such. But no. Maybe it's the same thing with my writing. I psych myself out If I could just have someone with a recording device following me around all day, I'd be golden.
Though the date will say it's from some time in early April, I'm not actually finishing it until April 19th. So, to further what I said above, I applied to the district I'm a Guest Teacher in. Hopefully, that gets me somewhere. But, I know there are hundreds of applicants and only two positions open, so I'm not holding my breath (which is a weird phrase anyway, since it's allegedly physically impossible to die by holding your breath).
I spent the last three weeks of work proctoring a computerized standardized test. Very few mishaps this time, which is a plus.
I bought Dead Rising 2 this past week. I was waiting for it to go down more in price, but then I watched the videos here and here. I've watched through a couple more of the Two Best Friends... videos and, other than Vampire Rain, the videos are pretty good. I'm not saying they're wrong about the fact that VR is a shitty game. Far from it. I just think it would've been good if they had attempted the game the way it was meant to be played (purely stealth without confronting the Vampires) to show how utterly ridiculous the game truly is.
But Dead Rising 2 is a pretty damn good game. It's a game where the sheer joy of destroying countless zombies is the main attraction. Unlike Valve's Left 4 Dead, which is a game all about survival and ammo conservation (kind of, the hand gun's ammo is infinite, but where's the fun in that?), Dead Rising 2 doesn't take itself seriously. The cutscenes do, but the gameplay does not. Where else are you going to jam a Servbot (think giant Lego head) mask on a zombie, then flay him with a machette on a stick? No where, that's where.
And that brings up another draw of the game. The game's teaser was Tape it or Die! That refers to the game's combo system. As Chuck (the main character) levels up, he gains access to combo cards, which tell the player what components are needed to make increasingly hilarious and deadly weapons (which also give bonuses to PP (the game's XP)).
My only real complain is sometimes the game's story takes away from zombie smashing. You can either kill thousands of zombies (and I have) or you can save your daughter (um...spoiler, I guess), but if you do too much zombie killin' you'll miss a deadline and fail the cases (missions) and then the truth is lost or something. Either way, it sounds important, so I just went with it. Though, I wish I could save more people (also a good way to boost PP).
In other news, I still haven't uploaded the new edition of Project Zero. I know, I said it was going to be within two weeks after Read an eBook Week, but things happen and I didn't have time to make some changes I wanted. I was tempted to just say I uploaded a new edition because I gotta figure 90% of the people who downloaded it didn't read it anyway.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sucker Punched
That's the feeling you're likely to have after seeing Zack Snyder's latest CG-fest Sucker Punch (alternate opening lines include: a sucker punch is defined as a sudden, surprise punch, usually from behind, an apt title for this train wreck. When it came time to name his latest film, director Zack Snyder went with the feeling the test audience had after seeing this flaming pile of garbage).
The film is setup in three layers (if you've already read plot summaries, you can skip this next paragraph): The real world, the fantasy world, and a series of fantasy worlds set within the fantasy world. If you're confused, don't be, for a film that seems to be intentionally complex and confusing, it is surprisingly straightforward.
The real world is set in the 1960's (I guess, because I don't remember hearing an actual date anywhere in the film. Maybe it was on the form being filled out during the beginning of the film that provides a lot of the details about the main character (She's female AND twenty years old)) where the unnamed protagonist (nicknamed Baby Doll in the fantasy world) has just lost her mother. In a really quick setup, we learn that this guy who we later learn is her step dad (the opening sequence doesn't say this, it's only after he takes the older girl to the mental institution does the audience learn their relationship) learns that he inherits nothing from the mother's death, so he decides to rape his step daughters.
That makes sense, right? That's the only reasonable course of action when bad news is received. During an ensuing scuffle, the main character shoots at the step dad and accidentally kills her sister. I guess. A lightbulb shatters and a pipe bursts, but it was unclear whether the gunshot killed her or if the step dad already had (saying otherwise is using an unreasonable leap in logic given the facts presented in the movie). It could be argued that the step dad had already killed the sister before and it was convenient to pin it on the main character since she was being stuck in an institution anyway.
When the main character arrives at the institution, she is introduced to a skeevy orderly (who runs the place) and overhears the head doctor (only doctor?) telling the girls that the mind is the thing in which we escape to and it is perfect and great in our mind. We also learn here that the main character has five days before another doctor arrives to lobotomize her. Flash forward to her about to be lobotomized and then we're introduced to...
The fantasy world! Set entirely in the main character's mind, she is now an orphan prostitute, the orderly is now a night club/brothel owner and the other mental patients are performers/well...prostitutes. Not a whole lot more character development here, it's really just one more layer of a setup for...
The fantasy world inside the fantasy world! In order to survive at the night club/brothel of the fantasy world, Baby Doll (it's here where they name the protagonist) must dance. In order to dance, she must give herself to the music (awkward scenes in themselves). But when she does, she transports her mind (which she has already transported to this fantasy land. But seriously? In her perfect world, she's an orphaned hooker?) to a fantasy world where she is even more empowered and can fight poorly CGI'd stuff. An old man tells her she must collect things, and then the missions ensue.
Everyone loves to watch her dance, though the audience never really sees why. Kelly said all she's doing is awkward pelvic thrusts.
Back in the fantasy world #1, she decides she's going to escape before the "high roller" comes, so she pieces together an awkward plan (the dialogue is just awful. Maybe some of the worst of any movie. Ever) where everytime she dances (and subsequently there is a new "mission"), one of the other girls would steal an item needed for the escape. None of the plans go off without a hitch and soon almost everyone is dead.
Now, in the real world, it's discovered what the skeevy orderly was doing and all of the damage Baby Doll did while in her fantasy land (she starts fires, stabs some people, and I have to believe those girls did die). Seriously, the lobotomy doctor said he had been coming to the instution for awhile and nobody ever questioned who was actually signing off on the lobotomies? Really?
And, I know he was going for sweet with the ending, but having Sweet Pea escape is weird because, well, she's a mental patient. Baby Doll helped a potentially insane girl escape. If, at some point, it was given that SP was in the same boat as BD (we can kind of assume maybe she is, since in the fantasy world, she followed her sister Rocket to the brothel), but nothing is ever said. So yeah, potentially dangerous mental patient is on the loose.
The dialogue was terrible. It's like they took the most wordy and vague path to saying just about everything possible in ways that are annoying to the mind. Like that. But worse. The acting was about what could be expected, given the script. The whole concept of the film was built around girls in skimpy outfits fighting things, so Snyder tried to build a film around that. It didn't work. The missions themselves are full of action, but the girls (at least to me) aren't particularly attractive (Abby Cornish aside) and the CG that Snyder loves oh so much isn't well done. There were times where the actresses didn't line up right with the CG characters or backgrounds. It's something I noticed with Avatar, but wrote that off because it was in 3D. It's just awkward.
And that's the one word I have to describe this film: awkward.
The only redeeming quality was one of the characters' costumes in the mission world. Sweet Pea's hooded dress thing was pretty cool looking.
The people who liked the film defend their position by saying things like: you just don't get it, you knew what you were getting into based on the trailers, and it's just supposed to be a big, dumb entertaining action-film.
Well, no. I totally got it. It's supposed to about the empowerment of the mind and the harsh treatment of woman. The trailers really didn't hint at the whole fantasy within a fantasy aspect. And it clearly isn't supposed to be a big, dumb action movie because it's evident Zack Snyder really, really wanted us to feel for his characters and to make us think (it did, but only if I could way with self-inducing vomiting so I could leave early). The only time I felt anything was during the Lord of the Rings-esque mission, and that was because I felt bad for Baby and Mommy Dragon.
I would say that I have little hope for Snyder's Superman: The Man of Steel, but he seems to work well when he's using other people's works (Snyder co-wrote Sucker Punch). I think it's better if Snyder sticks to translating other people's works and leaves the writing to someone else.
The film is setup in three layers (if you've already read plot summaries, you can skip this next paragraph): The real world, the fantasy world, and a series of fantasy worlds set within the fantasy world. If you're confused, don't be, for a film that seems to be intentionally complex and confusing, it is surprisingly straightforward.
The real world is set in the 1960's (I guess, because I don't remember hearing an actual date anywhere in the film. Maybe it was on the form being filled out during the beginning of the film that provides a lot of the details about the main character (She's female AND twenty years old)) where the unnamed protagonist (nicknamed Baby Doll in the fantasy world) has just lost her mother. In a really quick setup, we learn that this guy who we later learn is her step dad (the opening sequence doesn't say this, it's only after he takes the older girl to the mental institution does the audience learn their relationship) learns that he inherits nothing from the mother's death, so he decides to rape his step daughters.
That makes sense, right? That's the only reasonable course of action when bad news is received. During an ensuing scuffle, the main character shoots at the step dad and accidentally kills her sister. I guess. A lightbulb shatters and a pipe bursts, but it was unclear whether the gunshot killed her or if the step dad already had (saying otherwise is using an unreasonable leap in logic given the facts presented in the movie). It could be argued that the step dad had already killed the sister before and it was convenient to pin it on the main character since she was being stuck in an institution anyway.
When the main character arrives at the institution, she is introduced to a skeevy orderly (who runs the place) and overhears the head doctor (only doctor?) telling the girls that the mind is the thing in which we escape to and it is perfect and great in our mind. We also learn here that the main character has five days before another doctor arrives to lobotomize her. Flash forward to her about to be lobotomized and then we're introduced to...
The fantasy world! Set entirely in the main character's mind, she is now an orphan prostitute, the orderly is now a night club/brothel owner and the other mental patients are performers/well...prostitutes. Not a whole lot more character development here, it's really just one more layer of a setup for...
The fantasy world inside the fantasy world! In order to survive at the night club/brothel of the fantasy world, Baby Doll (it's here where they name the protagonist) must dance. In order to dance, she must give herself to the music (awkward scenes in themselves). But when she does, she transports her mind (which she has already transported to this fantasy land. But seriously? In her perfect world, she's an orphaned hooker?) to a fantasy world where she is even more empowered and can fight poorly CGI'd stuff. An old man tells her she must collect things, and then the missions ensue.
Everyone loves to watch her dance, though the audience never really sees why. Kelly said all she's doing is awkward pelvic thrusts.
Back in the fantasy world #1, she decides she's going to escape before the "high roller" comes, so she pieces together an awkward plan (the dialogue is just awful. Maybe some of the worst of any movie. Ever) where everytime she dances (and subsequently there is a new "mission"), one of the other girls would steal an item needed for the escape. None of the plans go off without a hitch and soon almost everyone is dead.
Now, in the real world, it's discovered what the skeevy orderly was doing and all of the damage Baby Doll did while in her fantasy land (she starts fires, stabs some people, and I have to believe those girls did die). Seriously, the lobotomy doctor said he had been coming to the instution for awhile and nobody ever questioned who was actually signing off on the lobotomies? Really?
And, I know he was going for sweet with the ending, but having Sweet Pea escape is weird because, well, she's a mental patient. Baby Doll helped a potentially insane girl escape. If, at some point, it was given that SP was in the same boat as BD (we can kind of assume maybe she is, since in the fantasy world, she followed her sister Rocket to the brothel), but nothing is ever said. So yeah, potentially dangerous mental patient is on the loose.
The dialogue was terrible. It's like they took the most wordy and vague path to saying just about everything possible in ways that are annoying to the mind. Like that. But worse. The acting was about what could be expected, given the script. The whole concept of the film was built around girls in skimpy outfits fighting things, so Snyder tried to build a film around that. It didn't work. The missions themselves are full of action, but the girls (at least to me) aren't particularly attractive (Abby Cornish aside) and the CG that Snyder loves oh so much isn't well done. There were times where the actresses didn't line up right with the CG characters or backgrounds. It's something I noticed with Avatar, but wrote that off because it was in 3D. It's just awkward.
And that's the one word I have to describe this film: awkward.
The only redeeming quality was one of the characters' costumes in the mission world. Sweet Pea's hooded dress thing was pretty cool looking.
The people who liked the film defend their position by saying things like: you just don't get it, you knew what you were getting into based on the trailers, and it's just supposed to be a big, dumb entertaining action-film.
Well, no. I totally got it. It's supposed to about the empowerment of the mind and the harsh treatment of woman. The trailers really didn't hint at the whole fantasy within a fantasy aspect. And it clearly isn't supposed to be a big, dumb action movie because it's evident Zack Snyder really, really wanted us to feel for his characters and to make us think (it did, but only if I could way with self-inducing vomiting so I could leave early). The only time I felt anything was during the Lord of the Rings-esque mission, and that was because I felt bad for Baby and Mommy Dragon.
I would say that I have little hope for Snyder's Superman: The Man of Steel, but he seems to work well when he's using other people's works (Snyder co-wrote Sucker Punch). I think it's better if Snyder sticks to translating other people's works and leaves the writing to someone else.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Still Here
I haven't been around much. If you follow US news, then you've probably seen the upheavel in Wisconsin. While it's small potatoes in comparison to what's happening elsewhere in the world, it is very personal to me.
That said, what's new? Glad you asked. I'm readying the new edition to Project Zero: BulletProof (yay, I'm talking about that again!) which will include a sneak peak at Project Zero: Godsend (or God Sent, jury's still out on that one). I'm finishing up working in some story threads that probably should've been in the story in the first place (Eva and Ryan disappear in the third act and Rain and Keri never do thrown over Lance). So look for that in the coming week(s).
After that, I'm going to start editing on A Plague Upon Thee (If I never mentioned it by title, that is the name of the Zombie Shakespeare book I wrote) and the second PZ book. I'm hoping to get both of those out this year. I'm still plugging away on the third PZ book (title to be determined) and am still brainstorming what the next book is going to be (I'm probably going to take some time off after PZ3).
I continue my journey into the world of Unova. If you follow me on Twitter, then you know Kelly has the Black version while I have the White. The feminine Legendary is on the cover of black, the masculine is on the cover of White. Yep, that's what fueled our (her) decision on who got what version this time around.
I picked up Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions for half off from an electronics store that's closing. I've only played it for about an hour, but I have to say, it feels like the same ol' Spidey game to me. The fighting style is a mix between Arkham Asylum and Web of Shadows. But with awkard camera control. And voice acting. Some, like Neil Patrick Harris, give mixed performances. Some of his witty remarks are spot on Spidey, but some are awkwardly delivered. But that's just my take on it.
The full Captain America trailer hit the web yesterday. That's exciting, I guess.
That said, what's new? Glad you asked. I'm readying the new edition to Project Zero: BulletProof (yay, I'm talking about that again!) which will include a sneak peak at Project Zero: Godsend (or God Sent, jury's still out on that one). I'm finishing up working in some story threads that probably should've been in the story in the first place (Eva and Ryan disappear in the third act and Rain and Keri never do thrown over Lance). So look for that in the coming week(s).
After that, I'm going to start editing on A Plague Upon Thee (If I never mentioned it by title, that is the name of the Zombie Shakespeare book I wrote) and the second PZ book. I'm hoping to get both of those out this year. I'm still plugging away on the third PZ book (title to be determined) and am still brainstorming what the next book is going to be (I'm probably going to take some time off after PZ3).
I continue my journey into the world of Unova. If you follow me on Twitter, then you know Kelly has the Black version while I have the White. The feminine Legendary is on the cover of black, the masculine is on the cover of White. Yep, that's what fueled our (her) decision on who got what version this time around.
I picked up Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions for half off from an electronics store that's closing. I've only played it for about an hour, but I have to say, it feels like the same ol' Spidey game to me. The fighting style is a mix between Arkham Asylum and Web of Shadows. But with awkard camera control. And voice acting. Some, like Neil Patrick Harris, give mixed performances. Some of his witty remarks are spot on Spidey, but some are awkwardly delivered. But that's just my take on it.
The full Captain America trailer hit the web yesterday. That's exciting, I guess.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Read an eBook Week Marches On!
I truly believe that RAEW is in March just so I can make stupid puns like that. It...Marches on? Get it? March, marches...eh, my humor is wasted on the youth. Lousy kids and their rock music and their hoochy goochy dancing.
Oh...k...I'm going to stop myself there before I sound completely like a crotchety old person. Like the one that just walked by my window. Anyone else ever feel like screaming "Zombie!" when you see an old person shambling down the road?
But what I really want to talk about is, as the title implies, Read an eBook Week. My goal for the past two years is to get 50 new readers during this week. I need nine more between now and tomorrow night to reach that goal. So for anybody who has read it (or downloaded it and never got around to reading it), tell your friends. I'm going to put it on its own line so everyone sees it.
IF YOU HAVE DOWNLOADED PROJECT ZERO, PASS IT ON! TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
Now I feel like one of those saps on the street corner passing out fliers (flyers?) for coupons/events. Remember to use COUPON REFREE to get it for free. Or not. Then I get some money out of it.
I've been toying with different styles of writing lately, and one has kinda stuck with me: 1st person perspective. It seems to be all the rage with YA literature, and a lot of my short stories tend to be 1st Person. So I started rewriting the opening chapters of Project Zero. I like it. I don't know if it works for the whole book. In that respect, though, I also have a few ideas for the series. Don't know if they'll pan out, so I won't reveal what they are yet. No need to cause an uproar over nothing.
My thoughts and prayers go out to those affected by the 8.9 Earthquake that tore up Japan today and sent Tsunamis into the coasts of the US, among other countries. It really makes you feel like kind of a D-bag to be worrying about the small stuff when the world is falling apart (literally).
Oh...k...I'm going to stop myself there before I sound completely like a crotchety old person. Like the one that just walked by my window. Anyone else ever feel like screaming "Zombie!" when you see an old person shambling down the road?
But what I really want to talk about is, as the title implies, Read an eBook Week. My goal for the past two years is to get 50 new readers during this week. I need nine more between now and tomorrow night to reach that goal. So for anybody who has read it (or downloaded it and never got around to reading it), tell your friends. I'm going to put it on its own line so everyone sees it.
IF YOU HAVE DOWNLOADED PROJECT ZERO, PASS IT ON! TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
Now I feel like one of those saps on the street corner passing out fliers (flyers?) for coupons/events. Remember to use COUPON REFREE to get it for free. Or not. Then I get some money out of it.
I've been toying with different styles of writing lately, and one has kinda stuck with me: 1st person perspective. It seems to be all the rage with YA literature, and a lot of my short stories tend to be 1st Person. So I started rewriting the opening chapters of Project Zero. I like it. I don't know if it works for the whole book. In that respect, though, I also have a few ideas for the series. Don't know if they'll pan out, so I won't reveal what they are yet. No need to cause an uproar over nothing.
My thoughts and prayers go out to those affected by the 8.9 Earthquake that tore up Japan today and sent Tsunamis into the coasts of the US, among other countries. It really makes you feel like kind of a D-bag to be worrying about the small stuff when the world is falling apart (literally).
Monday, March 7, 2011
Read an eBook Week, Marvel v Capcom 3 and Pokemon White
I don't have a clever title for today's entry. I'm not even sure what I'm typing will turn out to be actual words.
March 6th (yesterday, if you read this entry today) marked the beginning of this year's International Read an eBook Week. I'm pretty sure the "international" thing is new, but I can't prove that. Either way, I am once again giving away Project Zero: BulletProof for free.
If you go HERE and use the Coupon REFREE you will get my book and tons of others absolutely free!
Not only that, but if you get it while it's free (by going HERE), you will get access to all future editions of Project Zero: BulletProof for free. You get the updated editions if you bought a copy previously, too, so those who paid for it, don't feel left out.
I wanted to get the new edition out in time for IRaEW, but once I realized I would've need a lead time in the terms of months, it wasn't going to happen. So a new edition should be out next week or the week after that. Fingers crossed that I have the time to work on it.
Over the weekend, I picked up my copy of Pokemon White I had preordered from GameStop (I swore I wouldn't go back there, but I had gift cards to use up). When I placed the preorder (I did it instore because I had been in the area. For realz), they mentioned they were having a Marvel vs Capcom 3 Launch Event Tournament Thing. Being terrible at fighting games, I passed.
Now, as an aside, I may have mentioned in the past that Marvel vs Capcom 2 is not just one of my favorite fighting games, but one of my favorite games ever. After being burned by Street Fight IV (I foolishly expected it to play similarly to the later SF games and not one that came out 20 years ago), I swore I wasn't going to buy MVC3 until I played it.
Well, 'lo and behold, the PS3 at GS was still setup for MVC3 (I know, I used a lot of initials and such in that sentence). It's like they knew I was coming. The second I picked up the controller, however, I hear, "MR. LYYYYNCH!!!!" I can't go anywhere without running into a student (it should be noted that this GameStop is not in my town and there are no less than 4 GameStops in a one block radius there). The student was also there getting Pokemon.
After trying out MVC3, I went to the counter for my copy of White (Kelly made me get White, since that has the masculine looking Legend on the cover and Black has the feminine) and casually asked if they had any copies of the Special Edition. They said 'no,' they only ordered enough to cover the preorders. Then they discovered someone had cancelled an order, so I went ahead and bought it.
2-3 hours later and I put down the controller. All of the characters were unlocked (but not all the extras like sounds...or sounds...) and I mulled over the game.
First off, it looks great. I'm still partial to MVC2's sprites, but the 3D-esque Cel-shaded character models are pretty to look at...for the most part. My only real complaint is that some characters have giant, open mouths with their teeth bared (Hulk and Wolverine come to mind). You don't notice it while playing, but while doing idle things like character selection, waiting for the fight to start, or taunting, it's, well, distracting.
I still swear that the 3D models restrict the speed and movement of the fighters. And that leads me to my next point: this isn't MVC2. Nor is it SFIV. It almost feels like a mix of the two. Faster than SFIV, but not nearly the frenetic pace of MVC2. The controls seem to be a mix of the two as well.
One of the things that bugged me about SFIV was how much of a step backwards it felt like for the series. The hyper-charged turbo pacing of the the Alpha and Versus series isn't for everyone, but to not even allow Ryu to do a Hadoken while in the air? What are we? Savages? Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 feels like a step in the right direction, but it isn't quite there. Also an annoyance, and this is small...ish, is that there is no longer STRONG and WEAK punches and kicks, but strong, medium, and weak hits. It might be just me, but it also felt like I would try to repeat a maneuver only to have the buttons do something different.
Now for Pokemon. I haven't spent a lot of time with it, but I have to say: WOW! I've seen a lot of reviews that claim it's more of the same. In a way that's true. You still get a choice of the three elemental starters (Fire, Water, Grass) and you set out on your Pokemon journey.
However, (SPOILER ALERT) the first thing I noticed about this game was how well it set up the mood. Moreso than any other entry in the series. I like the seasonal thing, the music and colors were perfect (I don't know about anyone else, but my game started in Autumn). The whole atmosphere is...whimsical. At first. Once you get to the first town, the story's protagonist show up.
Team Plasma, Pokemon's version of PETA, show up early. They argue that Pokemon are better off free and that people should stop subjecting the creatures to their will. That is surprisingly deep for a Pokemon game. And it isn't just Plasma that gives you that feeling that Pokemon should be free. No, everywhere you go, there are hints that the pokemon may not be happy being the trainer's playthings.
For example, one of the TV segments is a review of PokeItems hosted by a woman, cohosted by what I can only assume is a Pokemon. The Pokemon replies with its usual only can say its name thing, but it's translated for the viewer. We learn the Pokemon is pretty upset by the host's actions and words. I'm not very far into the game, but methinks something is rotten in the state of Unova.
VERDICT -
Marvel VS Capcom 3 - If you loved MVC2, you'll like this one. If you liked playing through the story in 2 to get all the characters, you'll be disappointed, there's only 4 hidden, and it only takes one playthrough to unlock them. Reports are coming in that Online isn't optimized yet. Still, a great game to play with a couple of friends (or relatives) to waste a few hours.
Pokemon White - If you liked the others, get it. It's great for veterans and newcomers alike. What seemed like what was going to be the same thing (not that that is a bad thing) turned out to be something more. The subtlies set this apart from earlier entries with things like different camera angles, wind blowing through the grass, birds that fly away, etc.
March 6th (yesterday, if you read this entry today) marked the beginning of this year's International Read an eBook Week. I'm pretty sure the "international" thing is new, but I can't prove that. Either way, I am once again giving away Project Zero: BulletProof for free.
If you go HERE and use the Coupon REFREE you will get my book and tons of others absolutely free!
Not only that, but if you get it while it's free (by going HERE), you will get access to all future editions of Project Zero: BulletProof for free. You get the updated editions if you bought a copy previously, too, so those who paid for it, don't feel left out.
I wanted to get the new edition out in time for IRaEW, but once I realized I would've need a lead time in the terms of months, it wasn't going to happen. So a new edition should be out next week or the week after that. Fingers crossed that I have the time to work on it.
Over the weekend, I picked up my copy of Pokemon White I had preordered from GameStop (I swore I wouldn't go back there, but I had gift cards to use up). When I placed the preorder (I did it instore because I had been in the area. For realz), they mentioned they were having a Marvel vs Capcom 3 Launch Event Tournament Thing. Being terrible at fighting games, I passed.
Now, as an aside, I may have mentioned in the past that Marvel vs Capcom 2 is not just one of my favorite fighting games, but one of my favorite games ever. After being burned by Street Fight IV (I foolishly expected it to play similarly to the later SF games and not one that came out 20 years ago), I swore I wasn't going to buy MVC3 until I played it.
Well, 'lo and behold, the PS3 at GS was still setup for MVC3 (I know, I used a lot of initials and such in that sentence). It's like they knew I was coming. The second I picked up the controller, however, I hear, "MR. LYYYYNCH!!!!" I can't go anywhere without running into a student (it should be noted that this GameStop is not in my town and there are no less than 4 GameStops in a one block radius there). The student was also there getting Pokemon.
After trying out MVC3, I went to the counter for my copy of White (Kelly made me get White, since that has the masculine looking Legend on the cover and Black has the feminine) and casually asked if they had any copies of the Special Edition. They said 'no,' they only ordered enough to cover the preorders. Then they discovered someone had cancelled an order, so I went ahead and bought it.
2-3 hours later and I put down the controller. All of the characters were unlocked (but not all the extras like sounds...or sounds...) and I mulled over the game.
First off, it looks great. I'm still partial to MVC2's sprites, but the 3D-esque Cel-shaded character models are pretty to look at...for the most part. My only real complaint is that some characters have giant, open mouths with their teeth bared (Hulk and Wolverine come to mind). You don't notice it while playing, but while doing idle things like character selection, waiting for the fight to start, or taunting, it's, well, distracting.
I still swear that the 3D models restrict the speed and movement of the fighters. And that leads me to my next point: this isn't MVC2. Nor is it SFIV. It almost feels like a mix of the two. Faster than SFIV, but not nearly the frenetic pace of MVC2. The controls seem to be a mix of the two as well.
One of the things that bugged me about SFIV was how much of a step backwards it felt like for the series. The hyper-charged turbo pacing of the the Alpha and Versus series isn't for everyone, but to not even allow Ryu to do a Hadoken while in the air? What are we? Savages? Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 feels like a step in the right direction, but it isn't quite there. Also an annoyance, and this is small...ish, is that there is no longer STRONG and WEAK punches and kicks, but strong, medium, and weak hits. It might be just me, but it also felt like I would try to repeat a maneuver only to have the buttons do something different.
Now for Pokemon. I haven't spent a lot of time with it, but I have to say: WOW! I've seen a lot of reviews that claim it's more of the same. In a way that's true. You still get a choice of the three elemental starters (Fire, Water, Grass) and you set out on your Pokemon journey.
However, (SPOILER ALERT) the first thing I noticed about this game was how well it set up the mood. Moreso than any other entry in the series. I like the seasonal thing, the music and colors were perfect (I don't know about anyone else, but my game started in Autumn). The whole atmosphere is...whimsical. At first. Once you get to the first town, the story's protagonist show up.
Team Plasma, Pokemon's version of PETA, show up early. They argue that Pokemon are better off free and that people should stop subjecting the creatures to their will. That is surprisingly deep for a Pokemon game. And it isn't just Plasma that gives you that feeling that Pokemon should be free. No, everywhere you go, there are hints that the pokemon may not be happy being the trainer's playthings.
For example, one of the TV segments is a review of PokeItems hosted by a woman, cohosted by what I can only assume is a Pokemon. The Pokemon replies with its usual only can say its name thing, but it's translated for the viewer. We learn the Pokemon is pretty upset by the host's actions and words. I'm not very far into the game, but methinks something is rotten in the state of Unova.
VERDICT -
Marvel VS Capcom 3 - If you loved MVC2, you'll like this one. If you liked playing through the story in 2 to get all the characters, you'll be disappointed, there's only 4 hidden, and it only takes one playthrough to unlock them. Reports are coming in that Online isn't optimized yet. Still, a great game to play with a couple of friends (or relatives) to waste a few hours.
Pokemon White - If you liked the others, get it. It's great for veterans and newcomers alike. What seemed like what was going to be the same thing (not that that is a bad thing) turned out to be something more. The subtlies set this apart from earlier entries with things like different camera angles, wind blowing through the grass, birds that fly away, etc.
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